Category - Grooming
Plagued by Swamp Ass? Here's How to Get Rid of It for Good
Swamp ass is a universal experience. That sodden feeling you get after a long drive or back-to-back meetings—your underwear and pants sticking to your skin is uncomfortable at best. It can happen even if you're wearing the best underwear or workout underwear.
In some instances, your pants might even droop low like a diaper (if you’re wearing khakis, that’s called “khaki diaper”). Swamp ass affects the best of us, whether it's summer or not. Thankfully it's something you can get ahead of.
Consider this your go-to, comprehensive guide to learning what is swamp ass, what causes swamp ass, how to get rid of swamp ass, and more.
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What Is Swamp Ass?
Swamp ass is caused by poor ventilation around the groin and rear, whether that’s from restrictive and moisture-absorbing fabrics, or a humid environment. It can also be a result of overheating or a high heart rate (from stress, caffeine, exercise, genetics, etc.). The dampness combines with darkness to create a foul funk, too; it’s just one big problem that is a pain in the ass, quite literally.
And it can look as dumpy as it feels, too, once the fabrics start clinging to your skin in some places, and drooping in others—not to mention, it’s the foundation of chafed thighs and fungal infections, too (hence the pain). Keep things as dry as possible down there, and you’ll prevent everything from funky smells to irritated skin.
Getty Images
How to Prevent Swamp Ass
Plan ahead and prevent swamp ass by putting these tips into practice. A few simple switches to your routine—from products to appliances to behaviors—can bring you serious relief, no matter how hot or humid the air around you.
1. Wear Breathable Fabrics
Fixing swamp ass always starts with choosing breathable, comfortable, and moisture-wicking fabrics. I think the best advice is to shop performance briefs; these typically use fabrics like nylon, spandex, and polyester to expel moisture particles away from the skin and to help them evaporate more quickly. The worst fabric for moisture accumulation and retention is cotton, so those 100 percent cotton boxers or briefs are really going to create a swampy situation.
What I love about performance underwear is that it can also prevent thigh chafing, if you get the ones that go midway down your thighs. It’s doubling down against all the problems that are associated with your nether regions.
Reebok Performance Briefs (4-Pack)
2. Use Powder-Based Products Down There
Just as you might sprinkle powder into your socks or shoes to prevent swampy feet and odor buildup, you can also target your underwear with a caking of moisture-absorbing products (whether they are actual powder or just have a powder/starch base). Try to stick with a talc-free formula, with a base of cornstarch, tapioca powder, arrowroot, or similar. This will not only absorb moisture, but also gets ahead of chafing and body odor by reducing friction and moisture accumulation, respectively.
Personally, I’m a fan of powder-based creams since it’s easy to target problem areas, especially around the thighs and under the butt. (Be warned: It can leave your fingers chalky, so be careful to wash your hands before pulling up your pants or touching other fabrics.) But if you need one general and generous defense, an actual powder may distribute more uniformly.
Happy Nuts Comfort Cream
Duradry Body Powder
3. Change Your Chair
When we talk about sitting in a ventilated space, it can be as precise as the actual seat in which you are parked; how ventilated is that space? Because all the moisture-wicking fabrics in the world are rendered useless if you’re sitting on hard plastic.
Instead, swap in a ventilated cushion. Better yet, get a mesh ventilated chair so that you have airflow every which way. On especially hot or humid days, I’ll even point a small fan at my seat from the floor below, and ensure that the ventilation goes both ways.
Gabrylly Mesh Swivel Ergonomic Office Chair
Kysmotic Gel Seat Cushion for Office Chair
4. Consider Antiperspirant (But Only Sometimes)
I’m a big fan of antiperspirant. These aluminum-powered products are a mild risk I’m willing to take, since they prevent me from getting extremely odorous and balmy throughout the day. However, I’m talking mostly about their usage in the underarms, which is what most standard-fare antiperspirants have been formulated for (and for which they're cleared by the FDA, as well as backed by governing dermatological boards).
That said, on particular days and occasions (like a day of long-haul flights, or a really hot summer day of tourism, or the balmiest office day of the year), I will also apply a coat of antiperspirant around the thighs and on the underbutt. I do this the night before such a swamp ass-prone day, so that the aluminum can clog up those pores and prevent any moisture whatsoever.
Now, this is a can’t-fail effort for me. As in, it works all the time. But antiperspirant has been maligned by some people: It was once believed to cause breast cancer and even Alzheimer’s, which the American Cancer Society and Alzheimer’s Society have shot down. That's why I feel fine suggesting its use, even when dermatologists are left divided on the use of antiperspirants in the first place. In my experience, dermatologists tend to accept the facts and science, but many will still say, “If you can avoid it, why not avoid it?” So I always try to remind guys of this general awareness that they should have around the use of aluminum, even if I remain pro-antiperspirant.
Anyway, know that this advice of applying antiperspirant to your undercarriage is not wholly doctor-sanctioned. That’s why I always err on the side of conservative usage. Deploy it only on the high-need days (after a shower, on dried skin, the night before it’s needed), and never do it as a regular daily thing. Or don't do it at all—that's up to you.
Harry’s Odor & Sweat Control Antiperspirant
Carpe Antiperspirant Foot Lotion
5. Dehumidify the Space
If you want your crotch to be less humid and grimy, then make your home or office less humid or grimy. Air conditioning will do wonders, yes, but you could also plug in a dehumidifier and suck the water right out of the air. I love sleeping in humid environments (it’s great for your skin, for starters), but I sure do appreciate sitting in a dehumidified space when my butt is in danger of getting sticky.
PSOS Dehumidifier (118 oz./980 sq. ft.)
How to Get Rid of Swamp Ass: Tips
Let’s say you find yourself with an active case of swamp crotch. "How to stop swamp ass?" you may wonder in vain. Worry not: There are a few quick measures you can take to rectify the situation. That said, they fall in line with many of the preventative tips above, so stay aware of all of these tips, and put them into practice collectively to be ready for anything.
1. Ventilate
If your office or room is stuffy, open the window. Create a cross-breeze. Point a fan at yourself, or at least at the base of your office chair, to get some airflow there. If you’ve been seated too long, stand up and walk around. Go outside. You can do only so much to prevent swamp crotch by choosing breathable fabrics and optimal seating, but you need to also keep your environment ventilated to ensure the active airflow all around you.
2. Mind Your Heart Rate (Caffeine Addicts, Take Note)
I always found myself with the worst swamp crotch when I would do lots of cardio before work, then shower, then change into my work clothes and go right into the office. My heart rate was still fluctuating and at a high—so it’s no surprise that my body wanted to cool off and release more sweat.
So, while I’d encourage you not to be in a swamp-ass situation post-cardio, exercise is something we can all benefit from, and swamp ass may be unavoidable given circumstances. I suggest taking audit of other things that spike your heart rate. Stress, for starters. Avoiding stress is easier said than done, but at least with a general awareness of the things that make you stressed, you could make an effort to stand up and move around when those occasions arise. (Maybe it’s a good excuse to invest in a standing desk, too?)
Flexispot Standing Desk Odin E7Q
Also, note the types of foods and beverages that can raise your heart rate, too, namely caffeine, alcohol, spicy foods, processed or packaged foods, and red meat. Hey, I’m not saying you have to cut these things out (fiery curry and whiskey are potent simple pleasures, after all), but certainly stay aware of them ahead of any situation that may cause you swampiness.
3. Pack Wipes (Or Backup Briefs)
Don’t laugh: I think it’s a smart idea to pack an extra pair of underwear in your work bag, or even a portable pack of flushable wipes. If you find yourself super-sweaty but won’t be back to the house or hotel any time soon, at least you have the option of swapping in a fresh pair of drawers—or wiping down any sweaty, sticky skin to prevent too much odor or fungus from accumulating. It can’t hurt, so if you have the option, why not just plan ahead for the possibility? (I can think of one other thing that those wipes are good for too: It’s a helluva lot better-performing than single-ply toilet paper!)
Cottonelle Fresh Feel Flushable Wipes (42 count, 8 Pack, 336 Total), $15.79
Why You Should Trust Me
Not only have I been one of the most prolific online grooming journalists for the past decade, but I’ve been very sweat- and chafe-prone all that while. I love covering solution-focused topics like how to stop swamp ass and how to prevent swamp ass, because these remedies have genuinely improved my life on a daily basis. I hope you experience that same relief. Whether you’re living in a humid environment or have been blessed with thunder thighs (or both, like me!), please trust that the above tips are tried and true. (Oh, and if you like my advice, you can check out my men’s grooming solution platform, Blue Print by Adam Hurly, which launches with YouTube, social media, and a newsletter in December 2024.)
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