Category - Entertainment
Jason Kelce Calls Rival NFL City 'Butthole and Armpit of America'
Jason Kelce may have retired from the NFL and pivoted to his new gig with ESPN, but some things never change. Case in point, during this week's Monday Night Football, Kelce reminded fans that the bitter rivalry between the Philadelphia Eagles and Dallas Cowboys is still very much alive in his mind.
The moment occurred prior to a showdown between the Cowboys and Cincinnati Bengals on Monday night. "This is the state of Texas. Arlington. Dallas," announced Kelce's fellow commentator Scott Van Pelt, to which the former Eagles center quickly interjected: "Also, the butthole and armpit of America!"
When Van Pelt, Ryan Clark, and former Cowboys defensive lineman Marcus Spears cried out in objection, Kelce backpedaled: "I was joking!" It was a joke! It was a joke!"
SVP: “This is the state of Texas… Dallas”
— Warren Sharp (@SharpFootball) December 10, 2024
Kelce: “Also the butthole & armpit of America” pic.twitter.com/kYD8KGsiUQ
To be fair, Kelce was piggybacking off comments made by Mina Kimes and Dan Orlovsky, who were participating in the alternate animated ESPN broadcast, The Simpsons Funday Football, live "Atoms Stadium" in the fictional town of Springfield.
"We're essentially in the little town that can't and won't—some people have said that it's an armpit—I'm not gonna go that far," Orlovsky quipped. "But me personally, being a '90s kid, I'm obviously ecstatic to have some one-liners from our childhood."
"Specifically, the armpit of America's buttcrack," Kimes added, noting that no one knows what state Springfield is located in. "So, depending on where you think that is in America, might determine who the crowd is rooting for tonight. Is it closer to Texas or Ohio? I truly don't know, we have no idea."
Mina Kimes, live from Springfield, calls it the "Armpit of America's buttcrack."
— Awful Announcing (@awfulannouncing) December 10, 2024
Jason Kelce, live from Dallas (or Arlington), calls it "Also the butthole and armpit of America." pic.twitter.com/ttY1esfhcO
Kelce's hatred for the Cowboys is well established, however. The 37-year-old Ohio native still resides in his adopted city of Philadelphia, where he's sometimes spotted driving around in his Tesla Cybertruck, adorned with a sticker featuring a cartoon likeness of Benjamin Franklin peeing on a Dallas Cowboys logo.
In either case, Kelce must have been pleased with the outcome of the game, which the Bengals won 27–20.